You know what? You know what? Yeah.

luckyshirt:

Which to me seems like walking around saying “LOL I’M SUCH A QUADRIPLEGIC ABOUT HOW I DRINK MY COFFEE.”

“Don’t touch Brian’s record collection, he’s totally epileptic about how they’re arranged.”

fuiru:

Oprah points to a woman in the front row.

“Look under your chair,” she says.

The woman looks at her neighbour, then leans forward and reaches under her seat as commanded. She feels around for a second then grasps, and pulls out, a large fish.

Oprah claps her hands.

“You get a carp!” she shouts. The woman holding the fish starts to scream.

Oprah then points to another woman and instructs her to look under her chair. Visibly shaking, the audiencemember does just that, and she also pulls out a fish.

“You get a carp!” shouts the host, pointing at the woman. The two carp recipients are jumping up and down while holding their fish. Oprah pauses for effect, smiling. Then she too jumps up and down.

“EVERYONE LOOK UNDER THEIR CHAIRS!” she shouts, and pandemonium breaks loose, with woman grabbing fish from under their seats, jumping around in happiness, crying, screaming like front row fans in black and white Beatles gig footage, confused fish being waved around in jubilation.Oprah runs around the studio.

“YOU GET A CARP! AND YOU GET A CARP! AND YOU GET A CARP!” she shouts, “YOU ALL GET CARP!”

Then Oprah turns her attention to a little girl in the front row, off to the side. She is not jumping up and down, she is not excitedly waving a fish, because there was no carp under her chair. Oprah and camerachap walk over to her. The girl’s expression of sadness is exagerrated by the scenes of happiness around her. Oprah kneels beside the girl.

“You didn’t get a carp under your seat?” Oprah asks, and the girl shakes her head, sadly, as only a disappointed child can.

“I think there might be a good reason for that,” Oprah says, as she steps back on the stage, toward the sofa where she sits when interviewing guests. She reaches behind the sofa and pulls out a fish.

“YOU GET A BREAM!” she shouts as the little girl starts to cry with joy.

I love you. <3

eating cereal

reading a book

wearing neon pink nail polish

wondering where new followers came from (hi there hello hi)

fighting sleep

5 months sober

present