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I’m having an “episode”, apparently.

A depressive episode. I’ve been sleeping excessively, having nightmares, avoiding contact with friends, and I’m exhausted more often than not. I have this shitty voice in my head telling me that everything I do is terrible, and that I’ll probably scar my step-kids emotionally just by being me.

It doesn’t feel awful or desperate, though. I know this thing, I’ve been through it before, and I’m not ashamed or scared of it. I’ve got love and support and I’m where I want to be. I’m not scared to talk about how I’m feeling, and that’s what makes all the difference. It’s still a bummer, and it still makes parts of my life a struggle, but fuck it, who cares? I’m here, and I’m grateful.

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