I would very much like to be drunk right now. Not buzzed. Numb. I want to be that way a lot lately. I’m a little worried about it, but it’s a detached kind of worry, like I’m watching it happen to someone else.
Sometimes something happens or I come across something that I want to share with Matt. I didn’t know him very long and we only communicated through comments, messages and emails, but he was someone I knew I wanted to be friends with from my first interaction with him. I miss him.
I feel inadequate and stupid today. There’s a part of me that knows this is bullshit but every time it tries to call shenanigans, the rest of me pins it down and snicker-snags it.
I’m incredibly grateful that Lindsay decided that she wanted to be my friend AND made me leave the house for CHSH so I could meet so many of you wonderful nerds, because now she is like a sister to me, and I like you guys and I think you’re neat.