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I had a dream about it last night.

“Come here. I want to show you something.”

I was a sophomore. I was after school late for rehearsal. I had a tiny part in the school play. It was actually written in by the director to provide some exposition and comic relief. I had to wait an hour or two before it was time for me to do anything.

I became friends with the boy who played the piano for the production. He lived near the school so he was always around whether they needed him or not. That night we were in the back of the theater watching the rehearsal when he said that.

“Where are we going?”

“Come on.”

We left the school and walked around the side of the building, and then down the steps to the track below. We walked to the middle of the track and sat down on a concrete platform.

“Nice and quiet, isn’t it? Look at the stars.”

I did as I was told.

After a few minutes he said, “It’s cold.” and put his arm around me.

“We should go back inside.”

“In a little bit.” His arm moved lower and his hand was under my shirt, on my bare back. “You’re so warm.”

“Hey.”

His hand moved up my back and settled on the clasp of my bra.

“Stop it.”

“I’ll stop it when you stop smiling.”

I went cold. I shut down.

He unclasped my bra and put his other hand up the front of my shirt. He let out a sigh.

This won’t take long, I thought. We can’t stay here forever. Just wait. It will be over soon. I went over my lines in my head.

I heard a voices from the top of the hill. “Bridget? Are you out here?” it was a few people from the drama club. They must have noticed I wasn’t there for the rehearsal. His hands retreated and found their way to his jacket pockets.

“I’m here.” I called. My voice was flat. Thin.

One of the girls in the group ran down the stairs. “Are you okay? We were so worried! Are you alright? Sweetie?” She sat down next to me. “What’s wrong?” When I didn’t respond, she said, “Here, let’s get inside.” and helped me up.

As we were walking to the stairs she whispered in my ear. “Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?”

I was instantly ashamed. How did she know? I was opening my mouth to say “No.” But why? Why would I say no?

I couldn’t speak. I started crying. I knew I had to stop, but the more I tried to stop the worse it got.

She walked me back into the school. Behind us I heard scuffling and “What the hell, man?” between the piano boy and one of the boys from the search party.

I didn’t cry because of what happened. I don’t even know if I ever really processed what happened. I cried because of her kindness and concern. The way she looked at me. The tone of her voice. Her hand on my shoulder. It ripped my heart out. We weren’t even friends. And I don’t even remember her name.

59 notes

  1. flumpf reblogged this from beefranck
  2. elizabethplaid said: Also, I’m “liking” your post so that I can find it again later, in case you would like me to help you understand the meaning behind your dream. Just lemme know, and I can email you some thoughts.
  3. snack-tray said: you are so brave. thank you for sharing with us. HUGGG
  4. adventuresinblunderland said: Not really the kind of thing you “like,” but I read this and I wish this hadn’t happened and I hope that guy dies in a fire and you are great.
  5. giddygirlie said: every day I love you just a little bit more
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